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Positively Possessed – Electronegativity and you.

I’ve previously described how someone can find assistance with various computer-related trauma they might be experiencing. Because of overwhelming feedback, I feel as though I should make a few things clear.

Many have maintained that I am incorrect in my supposition that computers cannot feel hatred. Some have even cited examples of loathing from appliances such as the copy machine in a particular school.

Though a matter of taxonomy, this assumption of hatred is misguided. The real matter in this case is known as Electronic Possession.

Possession can be easily mistaken for sentient-like feelings from a machine, but the cause of the problem is none other than our favorite of subatomic particles; the electron.

Yes, electrons, being negative by very nature, have a distinct propensity to behave in odd ways. Take Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, which maintains that one cannot simultaneously know the location and velocity of an electron. In other terms, if you know where it is, you don’t know where it’s going, and if you know where it’s going, you don’t know where it is. This feeling may be familiar to those of you who have been to college.

If that is not an example of the occult, I don’t know what is.

Luckily, the solutions outlined in my previous post remain true, but I’ll add some more terminology, because hey, who doesn’t love terminology?

Jordan, in this case, is what is known as an Electron Whisperer, as he gently coaxes electrons to behave as they are supposed to.

Casey, by contrast, is an Electron Wrangler, as he uses his vast array of talents to physically corral electrons into their proper places.

I hope this clears up any confusion. As always, feel free to contact our department, as we can assist you in all of your whispering or wrangling needs.

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