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Computer Help or Technical Assistance

We in the Information Services department here at KPBSD get many calls from people in need of technical assistance with their various computer or technology-related issues.

We’re happy to help.

But first, some guidelines to help you get started and for you to ascertain exactly whom you should be contacting.

  1.  The Carrot and the Stick

Also known as “Good Cop, Bad Cop” or my favorite, “Bad Cop, Worse Cop,” this computer repair technique involves threatening or cajoling the computer to encourage good behavior, such as threatening the offending item with a bubblebath, alternating with mollifying promises of hardware and software upgrades.

This doesn’t work.

At all.

  1. Anthropomorphology

Many people call our department convinced that their computer hates them. This is an absurd notion, as computers don’t have the capacity for such emotions.

Smart Boards, however, do. So if you feel your Smart Board hates you, you’re probably right.

  1. Making Contact

If you’ve exhausted your above repertoire and your computer or program still refuses to function as it should, feel free to seek our help. You can do this in several ways. One is to visit us in person. We live in the basement. As you go down the stairs from the main entrance, turn left and go down the hall. DO NOT TURN RIGHT. I think it’s haunted.

  1. Specificity

As you happen to be reading a blog, many hardware issues have already been addressed by my coworker and generally nice guy Casey Olson on his blog:

Casey’s Support Blog

His extention is 8806.

If your problem is not hardware-related, for general assistance, call Jordan at extention 8809. Jordan is not only a very knowledgeable individual, but displays a cool demeanor remniscient of a young and dashing Henry Kissenger.

Additionally, Jordan has a brilliant and very useful blog of his own which explores the functionality of programs you use every day:

Jordan’s Helpdesk Blog

With PowerSchool now in session, you can call on Donna at x8804, because she is a guru, nay, Oracle of PowerSchool.

For all things website related, give me, Webmaster Mike, a call at x8805.

If you’re still stuck, any one of us can point you in the right direction. I’ve even been known to give incredibly accurate horoscopes. Here’s yours:

You may receive a phone call today.

Long story short, we’re here to help, so give us a call! We’d be happy to lend a hand.

Thank you, have a great day, and don’t take it personally; Smart Boards hate everyone.

– Webmaster Mike


2 Responses to “Computer Help or Technical Assistance”

  1.   Webmaster Mike Says:

    If you’ve noticed that every item in the list above is number 1, CONGRATULATIONS!

    My computer hates me.

  2.   webmaster mike's blog » Blog Archive » Positively Possessed – Electronegativity and you. Says:

    […] webmaster mike's blog more KPBSD bloggery « Computer Help or Technical Assistance […]

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